Wow! It is crazy that Teagan is one month already! My life feels like it is in hyper speed. Have not even gotten her birth announcements out yet, geesh! Feel bad for neglecting the blog for so long but I have not exactly had the time. Any time I have been getting is for paying bills, cleaning, eating, errands, and sleeping. Actually feel can barely eat, I have been scarfing down my food when I get the chance.
Teagan is a totally different baby from Grady, well for one she is a girl! HEH. Other then that obvious statement she arrived a day before her due date! Having a baby on time as opposed to early is a TOTALLY different experience! She is very refreshing because she has been a much easier baby. She is already for the most part only getting up once, and she only ever really got up twice which is sooo manageable! Yes I'm still exhausted because when I do get up it is for an hour and on one or two bad nights it has been for three hours. Grady was up every two hours and then it was impossible to get him to go back to sleep because he was so uncomfortable after feedings, and then he was fussy all day. When Teagan fusses I can fix the problem, and that is so weird to me! It takes me by surprise every time when I do so something as simple as bundling her up to stop her fussing, and she goes right to sleep after feeding! Every time I put her down in the night I am just waiting for her to fuss....and she never does! Totally weird! She had her one month appointment today and checks out perfectly. She is 21 1/2 in long (75%), weighs 9.3 lbs (50%) and has a small head (18% or 20%) . All of these measurements are completely opposite of Grady! He was low percentile in everything but his head, haha. Is she going to end up taller then Grady? She also smiles already and sometimes giggles a little, I even caught her in one of these pics in the middle of a giggle! True she inherited the serious look aka scowl but I have a feeling she is going to be full of smiles and giggles compared to Grady! I won't constantly hear, "That is the most serious baby I have ever seen." Grady for the most part ignores Teagan but is very cute when he does interact with her. He thinks it is fun to play with her feet. He also likes to know where she is at all times but then once he knows he goes on ignoring her, funny!
I love Teagan very very much but I have been struggling to completely connect with her. I felt a little disconnected during pregnancy as well. This is a very hard feeling to explain the best I can put it is that I don't feel as if I carried her for nine months. She is a little foreign to me like maybe I adopted her? I might be having these feelings for numerous reasons but I think it is mostly due to the fact that I had this image of what she was going to come out looking like and it is nothing how she looks! She looks weird to me, I don't know why. She does not look like my daughter. I don't know who she looks like, she just looks weird to me. I know I will fully connect with her at some point and I know these can be common emotions to have after giving birth. I am not worried, because I am acknowledging these feelings. A lot of it is hormones and lack of sleep. I'm sure I will return to normalcy once I get a full night's sleep, and stop breast feeding. Anyway I don't know why so many mother's hide their feelings or are ashamed of them. If your a mom, discuss them with someone! It also will help other mom's to hear that they are not alone in having these type of feelings. I think every mom I know has had similar thoughts or has just not felt themselves for awhile after having a baby. Yet it just doesn't seem to be discussed. Speak up, speak up. It is normal to go through strange things during pregnancy and after giving birth :)
